Who wants to live forever 2

 The sun was high in the sky as I walked into the park and the temperature was already in the high twenties.  It was the hottest November on record according to the radio.  Global warming, apparently.  There was me worried about my own longevity and it looks like I might out last the planet at this rate.  Still, a warm November in England was nice.  I sat on the bench and took in the world around me while I waited.  The birds chirping, children playing, a car backfiring and a police siren in the distance.  The peace of the inner city.  It was a week since we laid Peter to rest, although technically he just slid into a furnace.  I still hadn’t really come to terms with it.  Losing your wife and your friends is tough but inevitable.  Losing your son is something different, and in my circumstances, a little weird.  I had waited a couple of days before reading the card Vicky had given me and plucking up the courage to call her.  She seemed pleased to hear from me.  We chatted about the funeral, the weather; we are British after all, and we had arranged to meet for a longer chat in the park.  So, there I was, sat in a park in the winter sun awaiting a second meeting with my granddaughter.  A meeting that, in all honesty, I wasn’t sure I should have arranged.

‘I bought you a coffee, I wasn’t sure if you wanted black or white, so I got black anyway.’  Vicky’s voice from behind me almost made me jump out of my skin.  I’m sure I never used to be that jumpy.

‘Coffee’s fine, and black is just how I like it.’  I took the coffee and sipped it gently, the hot black liquid having a calming effect.  My nerves were shot to pieces.  Vicky sat down beside me, and the sun caught her blonde hair giving her an almost angelic look.  Of course, she’s my granddaughter, she was bound to be angelic.  She had her mother’s features but her eyes she got from her grandmother.  As I looked at her it was like I was gazing at Jennifer again.  Before we split up and she decided she hated me, obviously.  

‘Have you decided what to do with your Dad's ashes?’ I asked.

‘Not really.  Emma wanted them buried at the crematorium, but I think he would have preferred to have them scattered somewhere nice.  Besides, he wouldn’t have wanted to spend eternity in a garden full of strangers.  Even if they are all just ash.’

‘Plenty of time to decide.  Probably best to let everything settle down a bit.  Get through your grieving period and all that. What about your Mum?’

‘We scattered her in a forest, somewhere nice and quiet.  But Emma wanted somewhere she could visit easily, I think.  I’m sure we’ll agree on something eventually.’

I don’t know why I asked, I know exactly where they scattered Isobel’s ashes, I was there.  I know that sounds creepy, it wasn’t, I promise.  I was at the funeral.  Peter was broken.  I wanted so much, to reach out to him then. Tell him I was there for him. Tell him everything would be all right.  It was at the same crematorium that Peter’s service took place, and Jennifer’s for that matter.  James too. I was becoming a regular customer, maybe they have a loyalty scheme.  I had overheard Emma and Vicky talking afterwards in the gardens about where to take Isobel’s ashes.  I went there before them and waited out of sight, I just wanted to be there with them.  OK, that’s creepy, I get it now.  Forgive an old man.

‘Anyway, never mind that.  You said at the funeral you had read Dad’s file.  How much do you know about what he did?’  Didn’t I say this meeting was a mistake?

‘Well not much.  Secret, wasn’t it?  Government labs and all that.’

Vicky laughed, she sounded just like Peter when she laughed.  I wasn’t sure I could keep it up much longer.  When you have lived for 120 years, you pray for either family or death.  I have to be honest; I’ve prayed for both.

‘It’s not that much of a secret, Dad was working on a longevity project.  We believe it’s possible to extend our lifespans infinitely by tapping into our cell’s regenerative abilities.  I don’t know how much you understand about cell regeneration.’

How much I understand?  Well, only all of it.  It felt good to hear that Peter was following in my footsteps, but less good that he had chosen the one thing I think is more of a curse than a blessing.  I had kept my ear to the ground over the years hoping to hear of such a project, but it came as a surprise that my own son was working on it.  It seems I’m not as well informed as I had once thought.  When I took on James’ identity, I had no idea what I was going to do.  I had acted rashly, in a panic, and had made no plans for what to do next.  I knew where James lived but I was concerned his neighbours might know him and wonder who I was if I just moved in.  I went to a hotel to think.  I needed somewhere to live, somewhere to work.  I needed money.  I couldn’t risk going back to my own house, I was supposed to be dead.  I had to hope James had a few pounds stashed away somewhere, after all he wouldn’t be needing it anymore. 

It turned out he had more than a few pounds.  Most of the money he had earned, and all the inheritance from his parents was still sitting untouched in a savings account.  You might ask how I found that out.  I am ashamed to say I hacked his bank accounts.  But I’d already stolen the man’s identity, what’s a little cyber-crime between friends.  Then to make matters worse, I stole his house too.  Thanks to the wonders of the internet, it was possible to sell his house without ever really turning up.  No one checked anything, I sent a copy of his driving licence and told the solicitor I was living abroad and needed to sell the house.  It’s worrying when you think about it.  I do hope you forgive me, James.  

Over the years, a little careful investment and a frugal lifestyle has left me somewhat richer than most.  I had no idea how long I would live for, I needed to be prepared.

‘You said we, what is it you do Vicky?’  I can’t believe I hadn’t bothered to find out.  

‘When Dad retired, I took up his work.  I work on the same project he did.  Although he never really retired.  I used to sit with him in his room and give him an update on everything that we were working on.  Towards the end I don’t think he really took it in.  He was lost in his own little world.’  A far-off look crossed her face.  She was lost in a moment of nostalgia.  It reminded me of all the people I had mourned over the years.  I honestly don’t think there is a person alive who knows who I really am.  Well, maybe.  It’s a lonely existence being the oldest man alive.  P.T. Barnum once claimed to have a woman in his circus who was 161 years old.  Turned out she was barely eighty.  I wonder what he would have made of me.  

‘Do you really think extending someone’s life span is a good idea though?’  I’m not sure I do anymore.

‘Well, it’s the ultimate goal, isn’t it?  An elixir of youth.  Alchemists have been searching for something like that for centuries.  Aren’t we just modern alchemists?  Everyone wants to live forever.’  Vicky smiled and looked directly at me.  It felt like she was trying to read my mind.  My heart began to beat harder in my chest.  At that moment I thought it was going to finally give out and I would slip into oblivion.  If only.  I remember feeling like her once.  I was so excited that we had cracked the code.  We had discovered a way to beat the aging process.  Even if we hadn’t been successful in recreating the serum, we knew it was possible.  I was living proof.  Over the years I had many theories.  None of them proved to be correct.  Maybe it’s time to let someone else worry about it.  Maybe Vicky and her team should be the ones to decide.  

‘Why don’t you come to the lab sometime?  I’ll show you around.  You can see how much we have achieved.  You never know, you might be able to help.’  So now she was inviting a stranger to a secret lab to show him around.  That’s not right surely?  Unless…

‘Is that sort of thing allowed?  Isn’t this all government stuff? All a bit hush-hush?’

‘Oh, I think I can make an exception, James.’  I could almost hear the inverted commas when she said James.  So, this is it.  Either she knows, or she suspects.  Time to give up the secret old chap.  Time to share with someone else.  

‘I think there’s something you need to know first, Vicky.’  I could feel the sweat running down my back.

‘Not here, I’ll make some arrangements and give you a call.  Come to the lab, we have a lot to discuss.’  She stood up and with a smile, walked away.

I stared at her back as she went.  After all this time it felt good to be able to come clean.  So what if I spend the rest of eternity being tested in a lab like a rat.  Maybe now I wouldn’t be so alone.